The “What if?” question spins in my mind almost constantly. I would list them out, but I suspect that many of us already have a few that already popped in to mind.
For those suffering with OCD however, the “What if?” question becomes a mental death sentence every time it rolls around.
So let’s deal with it.
Far and away the most common “What if?” question I see from people with OCD is, “What if I have committed the unpardonable sin?”
This seems like a fair question because according to Jesus, it is unforgivable. Hence the term “unpardonable.” That’s not very comforting. I mean think about it, if I unknowingly committed a sin that can’t be forgiven, then what am I to do?
Now what we could do is look at the context of Matthew 12, Mark 3, or Luke 12 and discern their meaning. That’s spiritually masquerading, reassurance seeking response. But herein lies the problem. If we look at those verses through the lens of OCD, not only will we not find the assurance we so deeply crave, we will actually find a reason why we have committed the “unpardonable sin.”
The issue here is NOT whether or not you have blasphemed the Spirit. The issue is whether or not this is theme of your OCD. If it is then we need to address it appropriately.
I’m sure when you read that you immediately thought, “That might be true but what if…”
Stop right there. That is the dead give away that you are in the midst of the OCD stranglehold. If you fight against it, it will get tighter.
What we as OCD Christians see as a spiritual problem, we must actually recognize as an OCD problem.
Your problem is not and never will be whether or not you committed the “unpardonable sin.” Your problem, your affliction, your cross to bear is that you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. That disorder will latch onto the thing that you care most about and turn it into the object of your distress. That’s it’s goal.
How do I know this? Because my theme was almost identical. I worried constantly for 7 years whether or not I had an idol in my life. “What if this thing is an idol?” “What if this girl I like is an idol?” “What if my friends are idols?” “What if my family is an idol?”
I thought about idolatry from the moment I woke up to the moment I went to bed. Passages like 1 Corinthians 10 and 1 John 5 and the entire Old Testament were hell for me. If I even read the word “idol”, I had a panic attack.
What I failed to realize for so long was that my problem, though it seemed spiritual, was actually biological. My OCD masqueraded as a spiritual issue demanding my full attention every moment until I figured it out. Raise your hand if you have ever “figured out” if you’ve committed the unpardonable sin. You haven’t! And you won’t! Because that is not the problem.
Instead of spinning your wheels in the mud, why don’t you try to take off the OCD glasses? The method that has proven to work time and time again. I can speak with utmost confidence that my fear of idolatry is extinct. I no longer struggle with it.
Was this because I figured out that I didn’t have idols? Was it because I ripped 1 Corinthians 10, 1 John 5, and every page in the Old Testament that mentions idols (a lot of pages) out of the Bible? As much as I wish I could have sometimes, I didn’t. That wouldn’t have fixed my problem.
It wasn’t until I realized that my problem was OCD and treated it as such, that I regained my life. Maybe many of you feel like you lost the life that you once had. Maybe you have forgotten what it’s even like to experience the joy of the Lord. Maybe you feel like any hope to read the Bible without crippling anxiety is lost. I am a living testament to the goodness of God that you are not sentenced to a living hell forever. You can get your life back.
The thesis of this blog (and my life for that matter) is this…
The man that trusts in the LORD is like a tree firmly planted by streams of water.
That is a quote from Jeremiah. Do you know what book talks a lot about idols? Jeremiah. I read Jeremiah for fun a few months ago. No anxiety. Not even a little.
You can be a tree firmly planted by the water. Trusting God with your OCD does not in the slightest mean to ignore your biological issue. You wouldn’t tell a cancer patient to skip chemo in a God trusting rampage. Trust God by trusting the advice of those who love Him and have seen his salvation in the midst of OCD.
Praying for all who read this. Don’t hesitate to reach out with further questions.
Free to be Funk 
To be honest, I’ve been struggling with this for a long time, longer then I can remember. Exactly what you talked about in this, me thinking I have committed the unforgivable sin because of the blasphemous intrusive thoughts I have that I don’t want! These thoughts that cripple me, wake me up in panic and have led me to deep panic disorder and depression. I feel ashamed because my doctor has told me I need to take medication for he believes I do have a chemical embalance. But of course others have their opinions, and have their thoughts to why I would be having those thoughts. Read the Bible more, trust in Jesus more , meditate of the word of God but if I am so scared of these thoughts it hinders me to be able to do these things. I cry out to the Lord every day to heal me and take this from me. I feel so ashamed. What if I’m doing something spiritualy wrong and that’s why I have these thoughts? I am not perfect. I sin, I have bad habits I need to fix, fall short every single day . I would never in my life want these thoughts! But how do I get over the shame of taking medication?
LikeLike
Hey! Thanks for the response. I would say it’s OCD telling you not to take medication. The whole line of thinking about salvation is OCD for you. God knows that and wants to show you the way forward. The question of what if need make to be taken as a ploy from OCD trying to get you to feed it attention. Resist that. Ask God for the strength to resist that. God is good and He will see you through.
LikeLike